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Failure [Dec. 8th, 2006|11:29 am]
So, I passed my final exam in Math.

With a 70

But I didn't do so well in the other parts of my course so, I ended up failing by a 67.4%

The reason I ultimately failed is because I didn't understand certain aspects of the course, and I didn't ask for help. I took it on by myself because I don't want to get help for something I should be able to figure out myself. mom says i should ask dad for assistance, but he works overtime constantly. Dad will usually go to work at 2:30 p.m. or so, and then stay there until 11 or 3.30, depending on if he does overtime or not.
So i can't ask him for help because he has so little time in the day to do so, also I have to get to bed early so i can wakeup at 5:45 a.m. to get to my job, or 6:30 a.m. to get to my class. he isn't an option.

What i should have done instead was bother my instructor. Bother her to get me the information i needed so I could pass the class. Also, i would have passed if I had done all the practice tests. you see, I didn't know they were even being graded. I failed by 37 points, and the practice tests, which I could do over and over again until i get a 100% one ach, would have given me 50 points. setting me over the passing limit by 13 points.


So now I have already told mom, and she's disappointed. but it was at least a calm talk. My problem here is that i already know what my parents are going to say, how they're going to react, etc. So for me, the arguments, the lectures, they're actually boring me because it's something I've already heard before. It's like someone telling you the grass is green, and the sky is blue, and what happens at night. Things youa lready know, only they're yelling at you, disappointed at you as if you have no idea about these things.

And, there's a very slim chance I'll pass my art appreciation class too, or my german. I will pass myenglish class though. And I'm fairly sure I passed my APSU1000 class. So...that's two things down.

Right now I'm a tangle of emotions. There's fury, and anger of course, but then I've programmed myself not to respond to those emotions so it's like a conflict of peace and war going on inside of me. I don't know how to express it, and it's making me go nuts.
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Retarded [Nov. 14th, 2006|11:03 am]
I can no longer log on to LiveJournal at work because the web site filters there think this place is riddled with pornography.

I have no idea why

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what the hell? [Sep. 23rd, 2006|07:36 am]
I am growing an extreme dislike for other people.
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Unexpected [Sep. 20th, 2006|07:34 am]
So school is actually kicking my ass right now. Art appreciation had one assignment that was just a crazy amount of busy work. I understood the point of the assignment, but I mean, goddamn, 50 definitions for art terms is fine, that's ok, but then to research a piece of art that best describes the word you're defining is actually kind of hard to find. Then my german class is waaay behind because I didn't get a book til like last week, so I have an insane amount of bookwork to do there. However, Ich lernen Deutsche güt. I've already picked up on the alphabet, and the sentence structure is very similar to english so it's all about learning vocabulary now. I'm having fun with it.

I didn't do very good on my essays for english comp either. That was probably due to my extreme negligence towards the paper though. I really really really have to just fucking take it to these classes. i can't dick around at all. Fucking sucks. lol. I can't have much time for recreation as it is right now.

But I'm not quitting, I'm going to do this, for me.
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Time management [Sep. 17th, 2006|12:45 pm]
So I cancelled my wow account. i can't be playing that and do school at the same time, I'll feel like I'm not playing it enough to the extent that I'm paying for it, and then I'll end up not doing work assignments or other things for school and get bad grades. I alreayd did horrible on one math test as it is, and so it's very apparent to me that i need to study and focus more on my classes.

So far I love my german class. It teaches by context, you don't get a glossary with words and definitions, but instead it talks in full german and you just sort of pick it up, kind of like in 13th warrior, how the arabian guy learned to speak norse by watching the vikings talk. So far it's the only class I've really enjoyed, so I think, since i have to take a minor in something, that I might do it in languages.

Well, I'm going to leave for right now, I have to get back to work, Schuus!
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Hello hello hello [Aug. 30th, 2006|07:36 am]
So yes, I am currently enrolled at Austin peay! xD -Happiness-

I went through all my classes yesterday, and I'm very satisfied with my schedule, combination of morning, and online classes because I really don't want to be out and about at school all damned day.

Being a freshman, I'm taking english composition, and my compass test scores sucked in math, so I'm taking the algebra refresher courses. Good thing is, if I work hard enough on that, I can do both classes in one semester. I don't know much yet, but I should think those credit hours would stack leaving me with 17 hours at the end of the semester. I'm also taking art appreciation, and of course the APSU1000 class they force you to take. I WAS enrolled in spanish too, but I really really REALLY didn't want to take that. I was forced to so far because I didn't take a language in high school, or maybe it was because when I applied for it my major was undecided. Since, I'd changed to Computer Sciences I'm thinking I won't have to take a language at all, but, in the interim, I decided to drop spanish for a web course in elementary german. At least I'd be interested in that.

Well, I'm going to cut this short, got work to go to and all. See ya laters.
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School [Aug. 29th, 2006|07:53 am]
I'm in Clement 133 right now.

Did I mention I'm in College yet? I don't think I have... heh.

=D Don't have much time though, so I'm just going to end it here.
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So it's true. [Aug. 20th, 2006|07:45 am]
Ray isn't going to make it. I don't know any other details other than that. He's got 6 months to live.

That really sucks.

Other than that though, I've just been playing some Oblivion. It's really good, as is Dead Rising, and WoW. I find myself with too much on my plate as far as gaming goes. Just with the 360 alone I have three games that can be played for a good long time after defeating the storylines. And then the Wii is coming out in November, as is the playstation 3. The combined total for both consoles will be somewhere around 900 dollars and I honestly don't have that kind of money right now especially with school over the horizon. Wish I could just take month off of work to play the games I have, buy the ones that have been out for a long time and play through them too. I feel like I have so much to catch up on that it could easier become more like a job than a hobby.

Which is probably why I just want to get into the industry in the first place.

Well, that's all for now, gotta head to work.

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Rant and Rave [Aug. 12th, 2006|10:29 pm]
Pissed off, angry, depressed, sad sad sad sad, trying to keep control, feeling like losing myself, but it's all up to me, I just have to remember that losing myself is not an option, I have to keep me together for the sake of everyone, not me? Why not me? When have I ever cared about me? never really. I'm always self sacrificing, always looking to give me to someone else, hoping they might understand some way to use me to make me happy, I don't know, iI never know. I always just follow the leader, because if it's ok with the leader, it's ok with me.

Want to scream, want to tear, and fear, amke fear, create fear, want to be happy, want to understand, want to fit in and be cool, want to help others want to help me. Want want want, unnecassary want, just need shelter, food, and air, don't need emotions, don't NEED me, why am I stuck with me? why? why? Want to leave....

Want to express, want to be, but all I have is this useless blog. And no one wants to see.
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Wednesday morning, and all's well. [Jun. 28th, 2006|07:44 am]
So I bought me an Xbox 360. I told myself I wouldn't buy an Xbox last generation, and I didn't because it had a bad selection of games. But the 360 on the other hand, that changed things. it's got some good stuff and Oblivion is any RPG gamer's wet dream. I can truly be a wizard, in a tower, filled with the collections of my adventures, and research magic to my heart's content. There are unique and practical spells like telekenesis, water walking, levitation, water breathing, shields of all kinds, I can even summon armor. Not to mention alchemy, you can actually go out to a forest, or other area and search for ingrediants that would grow there.

I've probably clocked about 30 hours into it now and I've only owned the game for a week. lol

Aside from that I also have Dead or Alive 4, which always had a ridiculous story laced with an incredibly easy,and fun combat system for a fighting game. I can play that on Xbox Live and voice chat with my opponents as I do so. It's really good fun, I've made a few freinds already on there and it's always fun to test my skill against others.

Bad thing is it's put me in debt... lol, I traded in my PSP for half the price of the 360 and used my credit card for the rest. It'll be alright though, I'll pay off the card before I do anything else. And then, after that, I'm going to put computer parts, one at a time, on my card, and pay them off until I get the computer I've always wanted. =D

It's a happy time to be me right now, good stuff, good freinds, good job. Soon I should be getting a raise too! Might even be two dollars, but we'll see on that. I'll know by July 1st.

Have a good day everyone.

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